h1

hey mr. postman

March 23, 2010

I’m stalking the mail woman.  Literally, kind of.  (An aside – can one “kind of literally” do something?  Is that a rape of the english language, like  “most unique”?  Find out.  Get back to me.  Thanks.)

So anyway, I’m stalking the mail woman postal carrier.  I had to leave her a note earlier today, and I realized that I don’t really know the correct lingo for postal carriers of the female persuasion.  Are they called mailwomen? female mail carriers? postal ladies? mailmen who happen to be women?  The note finally just began “Mail Carrier!”  That will get her attention.

Here’s the deal – you buy a foreclosure, you don’t necessarily get the key to the mailbox.  In fact, you probably almost definitely don’t and unless you’ve bought into a high-rise with a dedicated mail room (which I most certainly did not) then you’re stuck.  At first I thought I’d have to call a locksmith, but last week I saw the mailwoman-postal-carrier-of-the-female-persuasion come down the front pathway and into the lobby and I ran down to meet her.

I explained my problem and she assured me that I don’t need a locksmith.  In fact it’s really simple – “you just pop this lock out and buy a new one.” Believe it or not, correct! I went to Clark and Devon Hardware and bought a new lock set and it cost me all of $8.

no locksmith required

HOWEVER….you pop out the lock from INSIDE the box, and I can’t GET inside the box without a KEY.  This is where the mailwoman-postal-carrier-of-the-female-persuasion comes in.   Now I’m sitting inside this empty apartment, my laptop and real job work on hand, with an eagle eye trained on the front walkway, screwdriver and lockset at the ready.  I’ve also left a kind of beseeching note on the downstairs mailbox begging her to call me should I avert my gaze for a moment and miss her.

I still haven’t told y’all about the toilet seat (sweet jesus mary mother of god the *&%$^!# toilet seat), but other than the toilet seat, getting the mailbox lock re-keyed is practically the very last job left for me to do on this project.  Sweet hallelujah.

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3 comments

  1. Sooo…did you get her?


  2. this is fabulous stuff


  3. Jean – yeah….not so much. Missed her. S0 much for a future career as as stake-out cop. I will stalk again another day.



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